My Dad Passed Away

Happy Sunday everyone,

Hope you all had a good weekend so far.

I first wanted to share some difficult news. Two Sundays ago, my dad passed away in his sleep. He was 76.

Photo of me and Dad on a brief walk

I would say that it’s been quite complicated processing how I’m doing since I received the phone call from my sister about his passing. I’m still in shock. It has been a challenge to express to people how I’m feeling.

I do know for sure that I miss him very much, and while I’m so thankful to have spent a lot of quality time with him recently, his passing was just so sudden and I’m still not sure what to make of all of it. I’m not sure what I need.

My only photo of just the 3 of us. Wish we had more.

One fond memory I had with him recently was when we recorded a podcast. This time together has stood out the most. This was supposed to be episode 3, but ended up being episode 11 since I got busy and never had the time to edit it. Here it is:

I’ve seen this video a few times. Like how I have videos of Teri that I’ll watch to remember her, this is what I’ll watch on my own to remember him. Special thanks to Izzy for helping me with editing it. It’s not an easy watch. My real hope for this video is to remind myself to be intentional with my time with friends and family.

Since Dad’s passing, I’ve managed to stay busy with my work, and help out with some of the funeral logistics as stuff comes up. I’m taking most of this upcoming week off because the funeral is on 1/28 and some of my cousins are staying with me. I’ll be quite busy.

Shrinking TV Show

When I’m with friends and family and TV shows come up in conversation, I immediately tune out since I really don’t watch TV. I just always found it to be a waste of time. Yes it was a hot topic with Teri and I since she loved TV. But when Adrianna and Edwin insisted that I watch Shrinking and how the show is about losing a spouse and therapy, I figured I should give it a chance. And I’m certainly glad I did, even at the expense of my sleep/workout routine.

I won’t spoil the show for all of you. I’ll just share that I really appreciated the values of vulnerability, community, and forgiveness. It reminded me of the friends and family I have that really carried me through my loss of my spouse, and now my dad. Thank you all.

My NorCal Trip

I just got back from spending a few days in Oakland for a baby shower for Payal and Pritesh:

After my dad passed away, I canceled my upcoming TimeLeft dinners and declined a friends birthday party. I felt like I should have some space from social events and was also planning on canceling the trip to Oakland. But after thinking about it more, I felt like it would be helpful to get away for a bit. I’m sure glad I did.

I appreciated the 1:1 time with Sucheta in the car drive up, catching up on how things are going and how I’m feeling about my dad’s passing. Throughout the weekend, I also had a lot more laughter than I’m used to having, especially on Friday at dinner. Phoebe saw the photos and said I look happy. I was. I’m a bit sad to be home already.

It was also nice catching up with friends I haven’t seen in a while. Some of them knew about my dad’s passing and really wanted to see how I’m doing. Another reminder about how blessed I am to have the people in my life and how loved I am, even if I don’t see them often.

Thanks Meli and Greg for watching Mayo!

Closing Thoughts

It’s been complicated regarding my dad because for some strange reason, I keep thinking of Teri telling me these things:

• Erwin, focus on your dad during this time, not me

• Erwin, I’m very busy in heaven having a great time, and now with your dad

• Erwin, you’ve put in your time with me, go live your life and move forward

  
  

These thoughts really just make me feel sad. I’m not sure why this has been on my mind. But after watching the show and seeing Jimmy’s progression with his grief journey and him starting to date again, I guess I can relate.

I’m gonna wrap this up for today since I have a busy Sunday with church and family time. Thanks for reading, hope you all have a great week!

Erwin