Celebrating Our 5th Terwinniversary in Atlanta

Happy Sunday everyone. I hope that if you're in SoCal, you're finding a way to stay cool. I'm flying back now from Atlanta, which means I lucked out and missed the crazy heat wave. I had a great time and am quite sad to have come back home so quickly :(

Today marks what would have been our 5th wedding anniversary of Teri and Erwin...

Can you believe it was exactly 5 years ago that most of you reading were celebrating with us at the Diamond Bar Center?

Terwin Forever - 9/8/19

Lots of you told me that 5 Years Ago memories showed up on their social media accounts. This was still the best day of my life. The opportunity for Erwin and Teri to become Terwin for the rest of our lives:

"and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” - Mark 10: 8-9 (NIV)

Not sure I would ever have the energy again to plan another big wedding. For being widowed for over 17 months now, I think I really took this two become one flesh thing pretty seriously.

It's always bittersweet to watch this highlight film. I wish she were here. She was simply the cutest, with Mayo now being a close second. Being in Atlanta this past weekend reminded me of how much I miss her more than ever. If things had gone according to our plan and we had started the surrogacy process in Q1 of 2023, we could have had a mini Terwin by now and he or she would also have been the cutest. Can you believe it??

I guess I can believe it now, and like I wrote earlier this week It’s going to be OK that I am OK. As I fly home and get to spend the next few hours reflecting on the journey I’ve been on—not just over the past year but since Teri passed away on 4/2/23—I’ve come to realize how much her passing has changed me for the better.

Reflecting (again) on Core Values

This might be strange to talk about on my anniversary but might as well. One of my close friends suggested I make a "date-me" page since it's the new alternative to online dating. You can look it up if you’re curious or you’re single and want to try something new. Seems very fitting for me who loves to write all the facts down on paper just like I do with this blog. PM me if you wanna talk about this more (or wanna help me lol).

After working the page a little bit, I thought, what do you put on these pages in the first place?? Not sure. But at the minimum, core values. I’ve been reflecting on three core values that have resonated with me the most since Teri left—humility, perseverance, and patience. These values have really guided me through the waves of grief and growth.

Around May 2023, I thought resilience should be one of my core values:

1: The capability of a strained body to recover its size and shape after deformation caused especially by compressive stress 2: An ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change - Merriam-webster.com

Resilience was theme of the 2023 Men’s Retreat at Mariner's. Since then, it seemed like an appropriate core value to focus on at the time.

With everything that’s happened since then, I replaced it with perseverance. Resilience always felt like a defensive value, the ability to bounce back after hardship. But perseverance speaks to something deeper for me now. It’s about continuing the journey, moving forward even when the path is uncertain. It’s about doing hard things. Losing Teri changed me, and I needed a value that reflects this ongoing transformation. Perseverance isn’t about returning to who I was before but about becoming someone new—someone who can carry the love and lessons Teri gave us.

Let's Leave... To Atlanta

I had another busy week before this past Friday - My first day off from my new job. I felt pretty free from anxiety as I approached the 5 year mark and have been excited about this trip all week. I started the trip by doing what I felt would be the most difficult—watching the Celebration of Life service.

It didn't take long for tears to start flowing again. Tears of healing and thankfulness, but some sadness because of the profound impact she’s really had on me and others. Just like reading Teri’s memory book, I always get something new every time I watch the service. This time, I was most drawn to Pastor Yohan’s message on Joshua 1:9:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

First, it was a miracle that this was Teri's favorite verse and also one of Yohan's that he's memorized. It's so appropriate to read on a day like this.

I wanted to keep this in mind throughout my trip—do not be discouraged. While Teri isn’t here with me on this earth, God will be with me wherever I may go.

After an uneventful flight, I arrived in Atlanta (~5:30pm) I checked out The Piedmont Park store at the airport (bought an Atlanta kitchen towel) and got my rental car. I spent time with Teri’s brother John at Brian and Hwayun’s house over a nice dinner. It was a nice time to relax and treat Brian and Hwayun’s kids to the $7.00 Mayo stickers I carry with me:

Avery loved the Mayo sticker! Too bad I couldn't bring Mayo on the trip.

Allatoona Lake | Wakeboarding

Saturday was so much fun as Marie and I headed to Lake Allatoona to meet Amy, Matt, Russell, and the Dong family (Craig, Martha, and Maddie). The Dong family invited all of us to spend some time on the lake on their new boat. TLDR: I think I may come back to Atlanta more than 2x a year (once I figure out wakeboarding).

See Maddie in picture 5? I broke the cord! I should have let go. Too much time at the gym lol. No wonder my arms are sore today.

I'm aways fond of visiting this lake because it's where Teri's triathlon career all started:

August 2018 - Teri's First Triathlon at Lake Allatoona

Watching her video again reminded me of the core values and how she lived them out.

• Humility - Teri was always open to trying new things like triathlon and wasn't shy with asking for help with learning how to swim.

• Perseverance - This was a first triathlon for Teri that she committed to shortly after she finished her first chemo treatments in 2018.

• Patience - She married me… lol

Lake Allatoona is pretty big, so I assumed we wouldn't see the triathlon swim start. But we did, and that made me happy since I haven't seen it since August 2018.

No More Wakeboarding…

I’ve always considered myself fairly athletic, so I assumed wakeboarding would be no problem. I struggled quite a bit to get up on the board, but after some effort, I finally managed to stand. It didn’t last long, but the experience was another humbling reminder that it’s okay to struggle:

That moment tied back to my core values of humility and perseverance—learning to accept the process and keep trying even when things don’t come easily.

What also was important was learning patience, or more specfically, listening. I kept forgetting to not stand up too early. I was too eager to show off and all that taught me was that I wouldn’t even get started. Story of my life…

Nice to see The Dong Family again since our first meeting in August 2018!

Dinner Time

Afterward, Marie and I drove back and gathered at John’s house for dinner with Teri’s family. We were joined by Cindy, Foley, Cherry, and Nancy—people who knew and loved her deeply. It was nice hearing lots of laughter and seeing smiles. Hearing stories about Teri again, including from Cindy who still talks to Teri at her home on a regular basis when she’s feeling stressed out or needs advice, was a great reminder that she's not forgotten.

Lots of food… I can’t believe it

Like all the Hoang family dinners, I was a bit overwhelmed by all the food (doesn't even all fit on the table) but was excited that more friends would help us not have too many leftovers. I ate too much, as usual, which means lots of extra training this week for my race.

FYI, I made brownies for my contribution (Marie brought the mix). I’m learning to bake and cook…

Terwinniversary Sunday!

After a long Saturday, I managed to sleep really well and didn't get up until the alarm clock went off, which is unusual for me. On Sunday morning, I first visited Teri’s resting place at White Chapel Memorial Gardens with Mom and Kevin:

Thank you Jesus for beautiful weather all weekend!

It was a nice time to pray, reflect, and see the family one more time.

Afterward, I met Marie at C3 Church. Towards the end of the worship portion at C3, there is an invitation to be prayed for, which was inspiring to me because of how many people go up to the point that there's a waiting line. I’ve only gone up for prayer a few times since I’ve been attending church. I knew that today was one of those days I needed it the most, and I’m glad I did. More tears.

The sermon was on the book of Daniel. Hearing the story of Daniel’s faith again in the face of great adversity really resonated with me and the core values of perseverance, patience, and humility. Daniel, along with his friends, was taken into Babylonian captivity—stripped of his home, culture, and name. Despite being pressured to conform to a new way of life, Daniel remained faithful to God.

The sermon focused on the first chapter, where Daniel refused to defile himself with the royal food and wine, choosing instead to stay true to his beliefs. He trusted that God would sustain him and his friends, even when it meant going against what seemed logical or safe in the eyes of the world. That act of trust in God, even in the smallest of choices, set the foundation for Daniel’s continued courage throughout his life in Babylon.

As I reflected on the message, I found parallels between Daniel’s story and my own journey through grief. Like Daniel, I continue to face moments of uncertainty, moments where I don’t know how to move forward. But through it all, I’ve tried to hold onto that same unwavering trust in God. There are days like today when it’s hard, when the weight of loss feels too much to bear. But in those moments, I remember Daniel’s quiet confidence and humility—his belief that God would provide, protect, and guide him.

I love attending C3 every time I am in town and am so happy for Marie that she found a church family with great preaching, a loving community, and free waffles:

Thanks again Marie for spending most of your weekend with me!

After the service, I went back to spend more time with Teri and just listened to the worship songs that remind me of Teri the most. Liz, Christina, Anna, Joe, and Jenny arrived a little later, around noon. I shared some of my recent reflections with them, including how grateful I am for the support and love that has surrounded me.

Then it was time for lunch. Instead of Dim Sum (my original suggestion since it's a safe place to go for a group lunch) we went for hot pot, one of Teri’s favorite kinds of food, making the meal feel especially meaningful.

It was a really nice time to catch up over lunch and also hear more stories about Teri. Afterwards we went shopping for a bit at a store that’s similar to Daiso. Next time we will all go play pickleball! Or make sourdough bread. Also now know the real reason why Teri’s mom was late to the wedding…

By the time I headed to the airport, I reminded myself of what I wrote earlier in the week: It’s OK to be OK. That’s true for today as I celebrate another Terwinniversary.

At the end of this weekend, I reflected again of my core values: humility, perseverance, and patience. These have become the compass guiding me through life’s challenges, whether it’s learning something new like wakeboarding or navigating the waves of grief. I’m learning to trust the process, to honor the struggle, and to continue growing into the person I’m becoming—someone who carries Teri’s love forward in a new way.

I’m also encouraged that I’m so much closer to my Atlanta family than ever before. I wish we could have had these relationships with Teri here.

Thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me. Your presence and time reading these long posts means more than words can express, and I’m so grateful and humbled for the light you bring into my life, year after year.

Have a great week everyone! Let’s hang out if we haven’t seen each other in a while.

Blessings,

Erwin